The Year of Living Happily

“I am always at the beginning.”

—Attributed to the aged Buddha, on being asked what life was like

Now that we are deep enough into the new year that our New Year’s resolutions have most likely gone by the wayside, it seems an opportune time to take another look at some possible changes we might like to begin making in our lives—free from the environment of mass hysteria in which those resolutions tend to be made. Reflecting on such matters in a calmer inner and outer state also allows us to think more deeply about the things that really matter to us.

When we do exercises like this while caught up in all of the New Year’s hype, it is common for us to focus on our material, financial, and physical health. Those things are fine to consider. Even more important, in my humble opinion, is our spiritual, mental, and emotional health. After all, are these not the parts of our Selves that we hope to feed and nourish through our pursuit of the material, the financial, the physical?

I think most of us would say that, underneath it all, what we really want is to be happy.

Many of us know intellectually that money, status, and possessions do not make us happy. In fact, these things often contribute to our unhappiness. So perhaps the focus of our New Year’s goals should be elsewhere. Perhaps we should be asking our Selves, “What will make me happy—really?”

More time to/with my Self?

More time with my friends, family, loved ones?

More time to pursue hobbies and creativity?

More time to read, to learn, to take a class?

More time, period?

Less stress?

Fewer financial obligations?

For some time now, certain fields of science have been studying the question of what makes human beings happy. It should come as no surprise that the answers science has found are simple and few. Essentially, the things that make human beings happy are close relationships, a job or past-time that we love, and helping others.

That’s it.

Good news, right?

Everything else is just filler. Just like fillers in some of the foods we eat, that stuff all too often leaves us malnourished, not to mention that it is damaging to our health and well-being.

With that in mind, maybe one of the big questions we could ponder regarding the year ahead is, “What would I like to give up this year?” In other words, what fillers can we begin to eliminate from our lives to make more room for more of the really good stuff?

Let’s say that you want to carve out more time to pursue a hobby. You might have to give up some time in front of the television.

Maybe you want to create more closeness in your relationships. You will most likely need to give up some way of thinking and/or acting in order to create the opening for that closeness. And you will definitely need to give your damn phone a rest—unless you are actually using it to call other people and have closeness-kindling conversations.

If you want to spend more time with your friends, family, and loved ones, you may need to give up working as much as you do if that is possible.

While the prospect of being happier is powerfully exciting, making the choices and following through with the behaviors that will actually make us happier takes commitment. For most of us, we will be undoing old, comfortable habits and patterns that got us to where we are. Those old patterns did not get there overnight, and they aren’t going to go away overnight.

As I said earlier, this is often a matter of giving up old ways of being, doing, and thinking. I have always loved the way they put it in yoga class—let go of what no longer serves you.

However, if you are willing to invest in your Self enough to bring into your life more of what will genuinely make you happier, I promise that what you gain will be far more valuable than what you have sacrificed. The more generous you become with your Self, the more generous you will find your Self being with others. In a very short amount of time, you will start to feel little bursts of genuine joy and happiness.

The kind that comes from deep within.

The kind that warms your heart and fills you like air fills a balloon and gives it shape and bounce.

The kind that really matters.

The kind that lasts.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read A Slow and Sacred Walk. If you enjoyed this—or you know others who would—I invite you to subscribe for free and to share my work with your friends. With gratitude—Jim